21st Century Dating

So here at PP towers, a couple of our girls are currently single and on the market looking for a new partner in crime. Our very own Emma K has recently been out on a few dates and as you can imagine a few of the dates haven’t been amazing.

She has recently been sharing her experiences with us behind closed doors however, there is one in particular that she wants to share with everyone out of principle.

On a Wednesday night after work, I got changed, sorted out my hair, sorted out my face and made my way to the pub close to my office in Central London. I was off to meet a young chap who I had met on a dating app for a good month or so. I met him outside of the pub said hello and then in we went.

We got a couple of drinks and started chatting as we have done via text for weeks but it was quite nice to actually do it face to face. As the evening went on, it became more apparent to me that he wasn’t the right fit for me, which is perfectly acceptable, however, I carried on with the evening then we went our separate ways.
I hadn’t heard from him for a few weeks, which to be fair was no skin off my nose at it wasn’t a great date and he wasn’t quite what I would be looking for in a potential partner. Well randomly and out of the blue, I received a message from him apologising for not being in touch sooner but he didn’t think it would be a good idea for us to go out again.. Again, no skin off my nose as I completely agreed. He could have just left it there, but oh no! He needed to then go on and explain why.. So his reasons for not wanting to go out with me again are as follow;

• I am not the usual type of girl he would go out with in regards to my looks
• I am too opinionated
• My knowledge was intimidating 

So I politely replied completely agreeing that we shouldn’t got out again but needed clarification on what he meant by the above points, so asked him outright that was it because I am a little bit fat and I have a brain to which he simply replied ‘Yes’.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not expect to be everyone’s cup of tea and I could never suggest that I should be, however, my size does not define who I am and the fact that I have a brain that is fully functioning with knowledge inside of it should not make a difference.

When did it become OK to say to a woman that her brain is intimidating and that is a reason not to date someone. I am not going to get started on my size because like I said not everyone likes a curvier woman and that is perfectly ok. My issue is the fact that because I am an intelligent, free minded woman who can hold a conversation across a number of topics make me unattractive.

Gents, if you find a woman who is intelligent, do not judge her on it, embrace the fact that she will be able to challenge you on topics you never thought she would know anything about. Enjoy the fact that you can be sitting at home watching your favourite team play football and she will be able to throw over some banter towards you about them. Get involved in the things that she enjoys because oddly enough you might be able to learn something from her.

We no longer live in a world where men are the superior sex, we live in a world where women are equal in all walks of life, we do not just sit at home and look after the house and tend to your every need.

Every single woman on this planet is a strong, powerful woman who is still learning what she can offer and who she is, we never stop growing and changing what we want from life so do not think that it is ok to belittle us because of our incredible minds.

Embrace who we are and broaden your horizons and have fun. Do not be ashamed to be with an intelligent woman.

Emma K
Model, Pageant Princess & Sporty Girl

Take The Photo!

As many of you will be aware I lost my partner recently.

It was a sudden accident. A single moment in time that went on to change my world forever.

There are so very many emotions I have experienced during this time. And I've struggled to feel positive about anything, let alone how I look. It just hasn't been important.

Because it isn't, not really. I loved him and his oversized, undefined body. And he loved my size 22 post two babies, stretch mark rife one.

Whilst agonising over all the pain loss brings, We cling to the memories. And treasure the articles that help evoke them. Photos particularly become your most adored items.

Which is why I'm writing this.
Emotional as I am, to beg you to stop hiding from the camera. We all do it. We all duck or pull away saying our hairs a mess or we aren't wearing make up.

STOP!

There were so many photos he tried to take of our days out or experiences we had, and I would avoid them for fear of how I would look.

Now I am mourning each and every one of those missed opportunities.
I know he lives on in my memories, and the photos we did have.

So take the photo! Please.

I promise you that when your loved ones look back on them they will notice nothing but your eyes, your smile and how much love they have for you. They will remember the moment, not your outfit.

And join in. Don't waste one single day sitting on the sidelines watching the fun, because you're worried how you'll look.

Life is too short.

Chelle
Survivor, Crusader & General Wonder Woman.

#BOPOBytheSea - Southend On Sea

The 19th of August was the first public photo event for Positively Perfect. 

Our aim was to show people that every body has a beach body.  We chose Southend-on-Sea as a convenient location and hoped people would be brave enough to show up. 

Little did we know it would also be a huge moment for us, so here are two accounts of what Saturday meant to two of our group.

Chelle

I wore a bikini and no one died!

I'm a size 22. Though if I'm honest right now I'm more of a 24.

You'd think being part of Positively Perfect, that I'd be all confident and secure in my skin. But the reality is that I won't even let my partner see me stand up naked. I refuse to look at myself naked in the mirror, and the sight of my flesh makes me want to cry.

Yet yesterday we had our #BOPOByTheSea shoot. I had a one piece and a bikini to wear.
Now in general I'm considered quite confident. I'm not, I actually suffer quite a lot with social anxiety but I'm a huge fan of "fake it til you make it".

So of course I was expected to don the bikini, so I did. My heart was beating faster than that Duracell bunny at the beginning of the ad as I stepped out of the shadows I'd just changed in.

The reaction from everyone was well, underwhelming. No one actually cared. So I was in a bikini. So what? And that was such a relief I can't even tell you.

After a while I almost forgot I had my pasty white orange peel thighs on show. That my arch nemesis of belly overhang was clearly visible, that my stretch marks and scars were all clear as day.

I seemed to not notice that we were on a public beach with a busy main road overlooking us.

I wore that bikini all day.

Not one person fainted at the sight of my untamed flesh. No one felt it necessary to comment on how repulsive they considered me.

No one died!

It's now 24 hours later and I've just been to an air show. Not with the comfort blanket of being at a PPUK photo shoot with lots of encouraging and supportive girls. No. I was on a packed beach full of strangers. I was with my partner. I was in public!

So when I pulled my trousers down to reveal my legs he was stunned. When I then removed my top to reveal just my bikini he couldn't believe it. "Are you really going to sunbath?" He asked. 

Because despite him telling me he likes my body, regularly! I refuse to believe him. How could he? It's gross right?

So to him this was a huge step forwards for me.

And there I was. Almost naked on a beach. For the first time ever.  And guess what? The same thing happened. No one laughed or pointed or even took the slightest bit of notice!

I'm not cured by any stretch. I still don't think I could look at my naked self without pointing at bits I don't like.  But having braved that first time, I feel like I can do it again. And again. And maybe one day it will be like all those other things and the practice will make it easier.

I certainly hope so, I kinda like the idea of a tan.

Katie
Feeling liberated and free!

When I was little I couldn’t wait to get my swimming costume on, I loved the freedom and comfort of wearing one and would wear one whenever possible.

As I got older and more self-conscious of my growing body I liked it less and less.

Earlier this month I was in a Pageant and one of the required outfits was swimwear. Can you imagine my horror. I was going to have to wear swimwear in front of the general public.

I do swim a lot when possible and obviously wear a swimsuit for this and when I go on holiday I wear swimwear.  But I honestly feel that everyone is doing their own thing and not paying the slightest bit of attention to me. but it’s still not my favourite thing to do.

I have a very large stomach and very large legs. I would love to have an acceptable fat body but mine is far from it.

So flash back to the Pageant.

I almost dropped out several times due to the swimwear round the very thought of it made me very anxious and upset and made me wake up in a cold sweat.

Then we at PP discussed a beach body shoot and again I felt a prickle of fear at the thoughts of not only the general public seeing my horrible bits but also having actual photographic evidence of the repulsive sight.

I sat and thought about it for a long time and came to the realisation that being part of a Body Positivity group was reason enough to get my wobbly bits out.

On the night of the pageant I just danced. I kind of forgot I was in swimwear I just enjoyed the moment and had a great time loving every moment of the cheers and claps.

This filled me with confidence and I decided to wear my Leopard Bettie Page inspired one peace to our shoot.

Once I saw the water I took my dress off and just wore my Costume. I felt liberated and free again , I felt like I was 5 and as the pictures show I looked like a kid enjoying myself.

Yes I have a large tummy and legs.  But I don’t care and anyone who loves me doesn't care either.

The world didn’t stop turning.
I wasn’t Harpooned and taken to a Sea life centre.
I just enjoyed myself.

So my point is:

If I can, YOU can.

So come on everybody, get your Swimming cosies on and have fun.

Why #BOPO is about more than just fat bodies

Body Positivity, or BOPO is big news all of a sudden. All the celebrities seem to be joining the bandwagon and that’s great!

But they seem to be attracting the usual negativity of anyone that raises their head above the parapet for something they believe in. There seems to be a misconception that body positivity should only be for the fat and obese, that a straight sized attractive person has no business identifying with messages of self-love and body confidence.

We at Positively Perfect vehemently oppose that idea.

Firstly, being fat doesn’t prohibit beauty.
Secondly, we have never met anyone, of any size that doesn’t have at least one insecurity about the way they look. Be that a supermodel or a shop worker, we all have at least one thing that given a magic wand, we would change about how we look.

Now this makes body positivity sound frivolous and shallow. And I suppose compared to many subjects it is.  But there are deeper issues that evolve from our self-deprecation of our bodies.

It is no shock that depression amongst teens is at an all-time high. Self-mutilation, body dysmorphia and eating disorders are all on the rise too. We don’t have to make too big a leap to connect these rises to the 24/7 social media lifestyle we now all enjoy. But do we?

Do we actually enjoy having perfectly toned and sculpted models paraded in front of us to aspire to? Is it healthy that these models themselves have been edited and photoshopped until they no longer resemble their true selves?

We follow these social media stars and watch in awe at their tanned bodies on enviable holidays, having fun with their friends and living a lifestyle we less fortunate mortals can only dream of.

But is that healthy?

The BOPO movement, or certainly the one that Positively Perfect are contributing to, is about learning to love who you are. Not just focusing on how you look. We promote that you are more than your body, and hopefully help to shine a light on the falsity of those feeds. We want people to enjoy those photos, but also understand they aren’t the reality.

We want people to realise that body issues effect everyone, tall short, fat or thin, every colour, every religion, every gender and every age group.

We are about size inclusivity. And whilst that idea is out of favour with the original body positivity crusaders who prefer to be plus positive only, for reasons we understand but don’t necessarily agree with.

Our fight is for everyone.

When someone learns to love themselves completely they feel better equipped to stand up to bullies.

They go for that new promotion.
They don’t accept the doctor fobbing them off.
They won’t allow their partner to insult or abuse them.

Loving yourself is about more than just being brave enough to wear a bikini or show your bingo wings, it is about life and death in many cases.

We are passionate about our cause, and we are so glad you are joining us.

Don’t allow anyone to tell you #BOPO is frivolous, or fat centric. It is vital, it is important and it is working!

So keep it up, we certainly will!

Chelle
Survivor, Crusader & General Wonder Woman.

“Plus Size” does not mean Fat!

Today I found myself in a heated debate on a page.

Someone had shared a photo of a woman from a website selling a plus size bikini. She is described on the website as being a size 18.  There were a great many comments shocked by this fact and accusing the site of having edited the photos.

Now there really is an issue with websites editing and photo shopping their models, and I was cheered to see that so many had come to realise that not everything we see should be taken as fact.

But there then became a lot of:
“No way is she plus size, where is her belly”
“She is no way plus size. She looks like me and im a size 8!”
“She just looks like a normal healthy woman, not plus size”
“If she is plus size then I’m a whale”

It saddened me as I realised that these women weren’t actually criticising the model. They all accepted that she had a lovely figure.

But they were all under the misconception that plus size = fat/obese/ugly/undesirable. This woman couldn’t possibly be a true plus size woman as she was attractive and had a nice figure.

When I pointed out that yes, she was plus sized as in the UK a model between a size 12-18 is plus sized. And plus sized clothing ranges usually start at a 14, so this size 18 lady was definitely plus sized. There was outrage.

How could a size 14, or worse still a 12, be considered plus size. I also pointed out that most models are very tall, so their size will always look better proportioned than on some others. I shared the below photos of myself, size 22 and weighing roughly 20 stone, But also 6’1.

They weren’t angry that the fashion industry is compartmentalising us based on our sizes. They were horrified that seemingly slim women would be considered “plus size” because we inherently consider this to be a derogatory term.

It became clear that when people hear the term Plus size they imagine a very large, very overweight person. They imagine wobbly bits and someone that would not be considered aesthetically pleasing in the mainstream.

THIS IS WRONG!
Plus Size is merely the term for the collection of clothes.

When creating clothes it is possible to just “size up” a garment within the typical 8-14 range of sizes. But beyond that you need to re measure and adjust accordingly, as there needs to be adaptations to the cut and shape of the garment. Which is why when we order cheap things from china we are always left scratching our heads as to how we get them on!

Plus size isn’t a judgement. It isn’t a comment on your weight. It isn’t a way to describe yourself, your worth or how you look. It is nothing more than the tag you put into the search bar when narrowing down your pay day purchase list.

Now we would dearly love to see more achievable bodies within the fashion industry. And I think most would agree that seeing a lady with the odd lump and bump can only help us to imagine what an outfit will look like on ourselves. But we need to first remove this negativity from the idea of Plus size fashion.

When we understand that it is ok to be plus size. It is possible to be plus size and still have a toned body, a beautiful shape, a flat tummy and a beautiful face. Maybe then we will see that the plus size ranges don’t need to be hidden at the back. They don’t need to be online only, because god forbid we may want to try something on in the changing rooms.

We don’t get upset by the term Petite, or Tall, Plus Size is no different.

The label inside your dress is just that, a label. It doesn’t define or describe you!

Chelle
Survivor, Crusader & General Wonder Woman.

So, the News says: If you are ‘fat’, you can’t be fit?

So it has been in the headlines a lot recently about how if you are ‘fat’, you can’t be fit, well I don’t agree with it. 

As someone who is very sports minded and rather active, I must admit I have to disagree. Just because us plus size ladies carry a little extra why does that automatically mean that we are unhealthy and that we cannot possibly partake in any sporting activity.

Now, I have been a sporty person ever since I was a young girl, I mean when it comes to sports I have done a lot over the years;

Hockey

Netball

Cricket
Football
Swimming
Rounders
Athletics
Trampolining
Basketball

I still to this day play Hockey for a local club, I swim on a weekly basis and I am rather active with all the walking I do with my dog. I wouldn’t say that I am unfit, in fact I would say that I am quite fit, yes I probably could be fitter but I am happy with who I am.

I used to regularly go to the gym which I unfortunately had to stop due to the EXTORTIONATE monthly cost! When I was going, I didn’t always have the best experiences, normally, I am sorry to say, was in the changing rooms from other females. I never used to say anything when I would hear them talking about me, laughing and joking saying horrible things like ‘did you see her on the treadmill’ because for me it just wasn’t worth it. Except for one day, after I had been for a workout, I decided to go for a swim and jump into the hot tub for a little TLC. I wore a bikini. When I was getting changed out of my bikini and into my clothes, all I heard from behind me was ‘eurgh, look at that. How could she wear a bikini’. I left it, but it carried in, comments were made about my size, that I don’t belong in the gym, that girls my size shouldn’t wear swim wear, let alone lycra in the gym. On this particular occasion, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I turned to these two girls, who were giggling to themselves and politely asked, why they found it acceptable to talk about me within earshot, what made them qualified to decide that I shouldn’t be allowed to wear a bikini and lycra, and finally why does my acceptance of myself to wear these items intimidate them so much. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a reply to any of my questions and they just slinked off.

There are so many stereotypes when it comes to being plus size and sporty and I think over the last year or so, there have been so many videos and amazing inspirational women who have come to light, there are now plus sized Ballerina’s, plus sized street dancers, plus sized swimmers.

Everywhere you look there is someone who is on the plus size scale who is breaking the stereotypes and making the way for a whole new generation of self love and body acceptance.

I find it so frustrating that people automatically assume because you are larger you can’t run, come on what is that about? Just because my thighs are thick doesn’t mean they don’t work the same as someone who has slimmer thighs. Just because I don’t have a washboard stomach, doesn’t mean I am going to sink when I get into the swimming pool. I am fat, I am active, I am fit, I enjoy going out and being active and oddly enough I can do exactly the same as women half my size, some things I can even do better. So my message to those who think you can’t be fat and fit is GET OVER IT! There are more important things to worry about in life than if this fat girl can run or not!

Over and out

Emma K
Model, Pageant Princess & Sporty Girl

Lifestyle not Looks! - Guest Post

So, the other day, I posted a ‘progress pic’ of myself on my Insta Story, having finished my first post-partum round of the Shaun T fitness programme, Focus T25.

Next thing I know, there’s a private message in my inbox from a lady, who we shall call ‘Monica’. Monica felt it her duty to ask me ‘why are you working out already’ and tell me that I ‘shouldn’t be worrying about all that nonsense or what I look like and just worry about taking care of my baby…’
I thanked Monica for her kind advice (which I didn’t ask for) and concern but reassured her that I am working out because I enjoy it and I AM looking after my baby (who’s over 7 months old btw, not exactly newborn!).

Two things here:

1. Why do people like ‘Monica’ feel the need to question other people’s motives for keeping fit and healthy and
2. Does having a baby automatically bar a woman from wanting to keep fit and healthy?

Although I didn’t feel the need to justify myself to Monica, her comments did get me thinking. She asked me why am I working out. It’s as though she made the assumption that I am doing it for vanity or because I care about losing baby weight.

The honest truth is, I enjoy exercise. Actually, I’ll rephrase that – I don’t enjoy the exercise itself, but I enjoy the feeling it gives me after I finish a workout. Some people get their oxytocin from coffee or Nutella; I get mine from a good, beastly workout! I enjoy the feeling of my muscles strengthening and the feeling of getting fitter and healthier. I worked out before I had my baby for these same reasons. Primarily, I do it because I want to stay healthy and fit because for me, there’s so many diseases out there ready to take your life so I need to be as fit and healthy as I can be to fight them off!

5 months post-partum, after one round of Focus T25:

It’s for these same reasons that I try to eat as healthy as possible. I don’t deprive myself though because Baileys, Tiramisu and Mac n Cheese make me happy! But, for the most part, I enjoy eating healthy food because it makes me feel good. If I eat crap all the time, I feel crap both physically and mentally, having undone all my hard work from exercise.

Far too often, people make assumptions about other people regarding health and fitness. They think that, just because you workout and eat healthy food, you’re trying to ‘get skinny’ or you’re ‘obsessed’. Truth is, the last reason I exercise and eat well is because of how I look. I don’t aspire to be or look like anyone other than my best self. I’m more concerned with what my body looks like inside than how it appears to others. Sure, I have days where I feel like I’m carrying a food baby or my top button doesn’t do up nicely but that’s just human. I’ve done the whole strict eating clean, detoxing and ‘get ripped’ thing and, whilst I felt triumphant at the fact I had visible abs and was lean AF, I really just wanted to eat a bowl of apple crumble with ice cream most days. I wasn’t really happy.

Too much emphasis is put on what we look like as opposed to how we feel. I truly believe that if you FEEL good, you will LOOK good. We have enough to worry about with work, family, friends, relationships, kids, money etc, without adding unrealistic expectations of ourselves into the mix.
So to all the ‘Monicas’ out there…instead of making the assumption that people workout and eat well because they have some sort of obsession or want to change how they look, consider the fact that trying to stay fit and healthy can be a lifestyle choice and rather than being a burden or punishment, it can actually make people happy. That’s what it does for me!

Kerry
PP Guest Post - www.kerrys2cents.com

Online Shopping - Not just for Norm.

Online Shopping. A necessity for some, a convenience for others.

For me it opened up a new world as I'm plus size. Whatever that means? Plus size is an often used phrase to describe people who don't fit into the norm.

Whatever the norm is?

I've heard that on the high street plus size can be anything from size 12 up. I considered myself slim when I was a size 12! Now due to hyperthyroidism I'm a size 24. I knew of only two stores that held my size one for everyday, reasonably priced clothing, Evans and the other Box 2 (aka Bakou) a single store in Wimbledon village or online. So that was my limited knowledge until I started looking around for more classic styles and 'baggy' tops to wear around the house or generally for comfort.

I started to expand (outwards) 8 years ago shortly after I was diagnosed as hyperthyroid, but little did I realize how it would affect my life, the way I was perceived by 'jo public' and the lack of feminine styles including underwear available to the plus size woman. I was astounded! My late husband simply didn't care. He loved me no matter what my clothing size said. I was safe and confident with him. But then he died in September 2015 and my confidence left with him. I was alone, I was overweight and I felt ugly and unhappy. Shouts from drivers as I walked down the road "Alright rent a tent" was one which hit me so hard, I cried. So I vowed to dispense with the flowing long dresses which hid my shape and were, to be honest, unsightly. So I investigated on the internet. Who knew there were so many. I found a style called 'Lagenlook', pretty out there but different. If I was going to reinvent my look I may as well try them all - right?

After ordering from Scarlett and Jo last year I joined the big shoot in April. it opened my eyes to wonderful possibilities and introduced me to other plus size women with an amazing list of fashion houses and suppliers for the plus size woman, in all products ranges. Some of those women became my friends and together we set up Positively Perfect. It was perfect - for me. Just the kick I needed and I will forever be grateful to them all for their help, love and inspiration.

Underwear continues to be an issue as larger sizes are seldom in the sale and a cheap size 42g bra is inevitably upwards of £38. I found a supplier in Burton upon Trent:

www.dawntildusklingerie.co.uk

Who sells prior year styles much cheaper, that helped but something pretty, low cut for a low v neck dress, is virtually impossible. Then I discovered Ann Summers sell really pretty bras with deep low cut that are comfy and do hold 'the girls' up! Take a look!!! You'll be surprised.

I thus have become an online shopper and I love it! From Asos to Marks and Spencer online, Simply Be to Yours these are for everyday looks.

www.ladyvlondon.com

www.lindybop.co.uk

But then there's Lady V and Lindybop for something a little more Vintage inspired. I'm addicted to finding new and different looks.

No squeezing into a little changing room with clothes I simply know aren't going to fit. No panic attacks when trying on and wondering if I'll get out of it without ripping something. No dirty looks as I enter a store from the staff (shades of Pretty Woman, lol). I can try it on at home and if it doesn't fit or looks awful on, it's only me who knows. And I can send it back!

Just type plus size in your search engine - join me on the trail for fashion satisfaction and if you're not happy - well write to the supplier. That's the only way it's going to change.

Happy shopping.

Jan
Founder Member, Model, Chief spellchecker and Mumma Chick.

So as you learned earlier in my meet the founders blog. Last year I embarked on a trying to improve the way I see and think of myself.

As part of this I entered MBBC as Mrs Derby Curve that is taking place on 5th August this year in Maidstone.

There are 4 Rounds so 4 Different outfits and to be honest my clothes obsession is one of the reasons I entered hehe

The rounds are as follows but not necessarily in this order.

Round 1 Red White or Blue shorter length dress Yep already have a few beautiful red dresses so check.

Round 2 Glitz and Glamour .Easy I have a beautiful dress that my Mum bought me for Christmas.

Round 3 Swimwear hmm this one is a bit tricky but still I have loads of swimwear and I have bought a gorgeous suit just for this.

So sounds like I am on a role right? Wrong and you may also be wondering why am I talking about this here?

Well Plus sized Evening gowns that's why?!

I was soooo excited about getting to wear a glamorous evening gown for the final outfit. I have longed to wear a beautiful sparkly creation. Something Mermaidy and gorgeous and there are loads of shops that cater to my needs. Well they would if I was a size 12.

The first actual shop I went to was a lovely shop in Rotherham .

They have the most amazing wedding dresses to suit all kinds if budgets. They also have Prom dresses and Bridesmaid dresses and I was told these all went upto plus sized.

I found the Most amazing dress. It was £220 which was a lot of money but OMG I needed it. I had a chat with Jonas and we discussed the cost but because it was sooo gorgeous we decided we were just going to go for it.

The sales assistant went away to check if they had my size and was gone for ages.

After about 10 mins we went to find her. She was busy with another client. She had forgotten about us?! Really am I that easy to forget?

Anyway she went into the computer and discovered my beautiful dress only went upto an 18.

She patted me on the arm and said oh thats because girls who wear prom dresses are usually 16 then looked me up and down! Rude or what?

The next shop we went to was in Cannock and suposedly stocked dresses upto a 32. I excitedly went in. There were loads of totally gorgeous dresses.

I asked the sales assistant if they were all available up to a size 32? She looked me up and down and said No. We have a very select few and we cant order them you have missed the cut off until next year.

She showed me 1 dress in a baby pink colour which was really frumpy if a bedazzled gown could be such a thing then said this one is a 26 so will be too small for you but I think we night be able to make it bigger.

OMG This shop had any beautiful dress you could ever dream of but the only one that would fit me was hideous.

Next stop was Burton to a Wedding and Prom dress Factory shop also promising plus sizes.Again they had amazing dresses and in actual fact the one I had in my mind when I imagined a beautiful gown. But guess what? They only have the sizes they have and cant order any larger in.
They had 1 dress that was remotely my size which I tried on but it wasn't the one.  I was definitely not saying yes to that dress.

So here I am in need of a Beautiful gown that would make Cinderella,Belle and the little mermaid Jealous but cant find one I can try on.
So I have resorted to ordering one online and I am sat here baited breath waiting for it it come.

I am keeping my fingers toes and eyes crossed that it is like the picture and is decent fabric and more importantly fits.

So if anyone knows of anywhere I can buy an off the peg dress that would fit me please let me know and for any shop owners or designers reading this I think you could be onto a winner if you start making plus size twinkly prom dresses.

I will keep you posted on the next instalment of the Evening gown wars lol


Katie
aka KitEH. Founder Member, Model, Vintage Lover & Glitter Queen.

So my child comes to me:

"Mum..is my bum too big they ask. People have said I'm fat and that my bum is huge."

I looked at my child. This beautiful creature I'd carried in my belly and gave birth to 13 years ago. What could I say to them that wasn't hypocritical?

The fact that for the majority of their life I had complained about how my body looked and how unhappy I was with people's perception of me that I'd followed various diets and taken those miracle potions and tablets and teas in the search for perfection. How could I tell them they were perfect when I couldn't tell myself that? It was that moment I knew that I needed to face the truth myself and accept that I am what I am, that it's not important what others think of me, but more how I think of me.

Yes, I have soft curvy bumps and lumps.
Yes, I have a belly.
Yes, I'm short and have odd size feet.

But "hello world. I've brought 3 beautiful amazingly clever children into this world, I'm funny kind unique and loving and if I chose you to be in my life then you're a very lucky person"

Anyway, back to the child. I turned to my son, yes my son, and told him that there was nothing wrong with his body. That many would pay a fortune for the beautiful shapely posterior that he possessed. That those who taunted had bum envy probably and to remember. he was only 13 and was growing in height and experience, and however he looked he was perfect. He smiled his fantastic handsome smile at me. Blue eyes sparkling as he hugged me in a semi uncomfortable teenage kinda way.

As he walked away, it dawned on me that our children, no matter what gender, no matter what age, need us to be their role models, they need us to teach them that the "perfect body" is actually one that you have already, that being rude or insulting about some ones body shape or even your own body is not right nor acceptable.

That the media tells us in so many ways that we are too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too ugly and that actually we are all flawed, when we aren't.  We need to convince them that the way they look and see themselves and others should be for the person they are, not who they think they should be.

So I pledge, as a mother, an aunt, a guide leader, a drama teacher, as a woman, as me.  To try my very best to love myself and my body so that those in my life can learn to love theirs too, and in turn they will do the same.


Emma
Founder Member, Actress, Model & Cheesy Ball Lover

Meet the PP Founders - Tanyisha

Hello all you lovely lot

My name is Tanyisha, I don’t have many nicknames and the few that I do have are just my name shortened.

I’m 35 going on 15 (or 50 depending on the mood I am in) and I am what the fashion world would consider plus size. Personally; I think I am just too unique and that the fashion world should stop using labels on people’s sizes, but hey! That’s is why I joined Positively Perfect. I want to help change this.

My past is one littered with being bullied because of my size, looks, and because I had the confidence of a wet towel.

It wasn’t that I was large, but because I was different. I didn’t want to fit in, nor did I feel the need to try. I felt people should be accepting of me. This idea never worked. But, it is one I still hold onto this day.

I was the large one out of the family and was always compared to my siblings. How thin, beautiful and handsome they were and why I couldn't I lose some weight? put on some make up? straighten my hair? be more girly? not do sports? go on a diet? The list goes on!

The only person I really had in my corner was my Dad. He told me to be me. When my parents split up, it was a lot harder for me to be me. So instead I took the me I wanted to be and locked it away and became a false version of me because no one was accepting me anymore.

The happiest day was when I had left home and went to University. I had an epiphany of waking up and looking in the mirror and realizing that it was time to stop being the false me. It was okay to be me. Forget trying to be what the media and world wanted, start being me. So, I let the old me out of the vault I had placed it in and since then haven’t looked back.

I will admit, I do look back at my old photos and say to myself that “Man, I look so skinny there” or “Wow, look how pretty I was”. In reality though, I have grown as a person who accepts myself. Yes, I am larger now, but I am happier. I also am a burlesque dancer. Which has helped me get a lot of the confidence I had lost over the years back. In no way am I fully 100% confident, but I am getting there slowly. My support group has grown, from my husband’s family, my lovely stepmother/mother, friends, the PP ladies, and even my co-workers. I know that I can turn to them if I need someone to talk too or cry on.

I also have stopped comparing myself as one thing I have noticed is that everyone wants something on their body to be bigger, smaller, rounder, firmer, flatter, plumper, darker, lighter, curlier, straight or another color. I could go on. In the end, I think we all need to not let the outside world influence us and for us to start accepting ourselves. Once we do that, then the fashion industry, media and even society will then realize that what they think we want and what we actually want are two different ideas. Hopefully, they'll realise that all shapes, sizes, colours, types are beautiful, unique, and perfect as they are.

Tanyisha
Founder Member, Model & Burlesque Beauty

Meet the PP Founders - Jess

I’m Jessica (Jess) and I am 32 years old and size 30/32 dress size. I am a founding member of the Positively Perfect movement and I couldn't be prouder to be. You've heard a lot of introductions from us all.... well there are 10 of us! I hope you can see what an amazing and inspirational group of women have come together here.

Being a size 32 is sometimes, I think, harder than being any other plus size. It seems to be that most plus size brands "dare" to cater for up to a size 26....anything above this seems to be taboo even in the plus size market place. I want to change all of that, and that's why I am here. We are labelled as plus size women (and men) and that term alone doesn't really bother me.... after all it's better than being a "Larger Lady".

However, if they are going to call themselves plus size brands then I want them to cater for all plus size women upto and including a size 32! I also have the mind set that if these brands are going to cater for plus size women.... then it only makes sense to display their clothes on plus size models!? It's just so simple!

I must admit that I have always been over weight and "fat" and I have no problem in acknowledging that. I have had the fortune of being the fat and funny one in most groups which has helped me a lot during my life. Whilst school really wasn't a problem for me, I have found far more prejudice and ignorance as an adult and when you think about it.... that's really sad!!

Through movements like Positively Perfect I hope we can spread love, support and education! An education on the ignorant judgements made, as a size 32 I must be lazy, eat chocolate and chips all day and I couldn't possibly exercise! When in fact I am constantly active in my job, I enjoy Pasta and Chicken for my lunch and I swim 2-3 times a week!!

I am so passionate about inclusion and diversity and at PP we are nothing if not diverse in ourselves. I obviously have my own agenda with being plus size but PP isn't just about that..... Positively Perfect is for everyone. It's for you, your best friend, your mum, your dad, your neighbour, even your Nan...... because you see everyone is Perfect just the way they are, and we want them to realise that!!

I am a plus size woman and I am Positively Perfect!!! Jess OUT!! (Mic drop!)
Jess
Founder Member, Model,  Face & Brave Girl

Meet the PP Founders - Emma

When people ask me to "tell them a bit about myself" I struggle. Seriously I do. It's like I don't want to give too much away about myself for fear you may actually be my nemesis and therefore destroy me with my very own words...

So... taking a big deep breath.

My name is Emma and I'm a 46 year old married mum of 3 boys and I come from a glorious little village just outside the big smoke called Penge. I don't do much. Stay at home mum, cleaner, theatre lovey, rainbows leader, not clever enough to go to university. Still debating what I want to do when I grow up.

When I was younger I was always the "big girl" so was sent to dance at a young age to help sort out the puppy fat, however it just encouraged me to be hilariously funny to steal the limelight. That basically was how my life went. I've always been the "fat funny one". I used my comedy timing to cover my insecurities about my weight, made a joke about myself before anyone else could.
I wasn't a particularly attractive kid either... So it was all down hill really... I laughed at me before you could.  I made the fat jokes.  I'd got the "funny parts" in the plays. I'd play the fool. The fugly. The one who is always game for a laugh.

But while I'm laughing and joking on the outside and giving it all look at me...inside I'm actually shy as anything absolutely insecure and scared of your opinion of me, worried about how I'd look and if anyone would actually think I'm "pretty".

When I look back now, I realise that my weight issues and insecurity started in my 20s, within a very controlling relationship. I lost weight to please him and lost myself within the process. I recently found a picture from that time and I look so sad!

I became pregnant at 25 and discovered a new found love for these curves and bumps and feeding to grow my gorgeous bundle of boy, all the while being mocked by my partner for being fat.
When we eventually split up I emerged like a butterfly from a cocoon and, after a little while and many kissing of frogs, found my soul mate. Who loves every bump and curve and gave me two more beautiful children. I'm not saying being a mum is all I am. But with 14 years separating the youngest and the oldest they are my one thing I have accomplished in my life. That I haven't got wrong or messed up.

I have brought my amazing boys up to love someone no matter.  They have and will grow into fabulous husbands partners and hopefully fathers, and I hope will bring up their children to love unconditionally.

We are all different and that's what makes us unique. I embrace my body shape and size and don't feel embarrassed or make those "jokes" anymore. Sure I've been thinner, yes I've been heavier, but now I realise that it's just a number, like age, and I've never acted that either.
It's only recently dawned that people love me for me. Not how I look, or what size label I have in my jeans. I'm a bloody nice human being, I'll help anyone that needs it and make a damn fine chocolate cake. And if all else fails I'll sing you a song!

So there you are, that's me in a nutshell. I'm humbled by these other amazing women in PP and those that are connected to them. Who have stories to tell and who's lives have been far more interesting than mine, but it's fate that brought us all together, I believe for some reason...whether it be to conquer the world or to make people stop and think and change their attitude to themselves and others. But whatever it is I'm glad I'm doing it with them.

See....I'm my own nemesis!

Emma
Founder Member, Actress, Model & Cheesy Ball Lover

Meet the PP Founders - Emma K

I won’t bore you too much with going all the way back to the beginning because from what I have heard, I was a rather boring baby.

My name is Emma or Em for short, I’m 25 years old, 6ft tall and 19 stone and dare I say it, I think I am pretty awesome sometimes.

Right from an early age, it was quite obvious that I was going to take after my dad and be tall. By the age of 14, I was 6ft tall and I stopped growing. It was at this point my life took a turn.
Being taller than most of the school I became the victim of bullies, everywhere I went, I was bullied due to my height, I had people sing ‘ho ho ho, green giant’ everywhere I went, I was tormented with the generic ‘what’s the weather like up there’ comments. This finally started to take a toll on me and I hated myself. The only thing that kept me sane was my sports, I was and still am an avid hockey player and I played Netball at school and I was bloody good! Unfortunately, when I was 16, I sustained a knee injury which turned my life upside down, I spent 8 months on crutches not being able to walk and the doctors not knowing what was wrong with me. I wasn’t allowed to play sport, the one and only thing that got me out of bed and kept me going.

By the time I was about 18, I was still injured, I unfortunately fell into what I now know to be a depression, I comfort ate ALL the time and within the space of about 6 months, I had gone from a size 12 to a size 28 and weighing 26 stone. All I saw when I looked in the mirror was a beast, a real-life version of Godzilla, I couldn’t stand the sight of myself but to the rest of the world, I was fine, I was just Emma, the awkward happy fat girl.

Due to my low self-esteem and lack of confidence, I thought I was unlovable, who would want me, a big fat giant slob, so when someone came into my life, I thought ok, maybe I’m not that bad, but that person who I trusted and who I cared for was not the person I thought they were and suddenly our relationship took a turn for the worse, due to various things that happened in the relationship, I became a shy timid person who was so insecure and broken inside that I didn’t even recognise myself anymore, I was just the shell of a person. I fell even further into a depression. It was at this point in my life that I began to self-harm, I wanted so badly to punish myself for everything I was. It is a choice in my life which yes, I do regret, but at the same time I don’t because it has made me who I am now.

I eventually started to diet, I started to do exercise, against the doctor's recommendation (don’t tell them) and I started to lose weight, and as my weight dropped off, I started to get my spark back, my family could see it, my friends could see it but more importantly, I could see it. I found my way out of the darkness and found myself again.

During the next few years I was locked in a constant battle with myself to get back to who I was. By the time I reached 23, I was in a good place, I was in a good job, my knee was being dealt with (still not fixed to this day though), I was playing hockey again, I was volunteering with the RAF Air Cadets, I was HAPPY.

I was still learning to be more confident in myself and believe that I could do what I wanted to when I met Matt, a 5ft5 (ish) Geordie, 7 years my senior and who was just so different to anyone who I had ever met before, he saw me for exactly who I was, he was someone I could be myself around, snorts and all, someone I wasn’t afraid to let in. I could be the ridiculous, geeky, make up free muppet that I am, I could come out with something really silly or really dim (daily occurrence with me) and he would just look at me with his big brown eyes and just by the way he looked at me I could see that he loved me. It was his support, his encouragement, his faith and his confidence in me that I figured out who I was again, I got my spark back, I got my confidence back and to this day he continuous to encourage and support me in all I do, even stripping down to my undies in front of a camera.

So here I stand (well actually I’m sitting down typing), with my stretch marks, my scars and my wobbly bobbly bits, with a group of women who inspire me every day to keep going and keep building who I am and I can get one thing from PP it would be to make a difference to someone, and if person so happens to be the tall girl who hides in the background away from everything, then so be it, that to me is mission accomplished.

Emma K
Founder Member, Model, Pageant Princess & Sporty Girl

Meet the PP Founders - Chelle

Hello all you gorgeous people.  I’m Chelle, yes its short for Michelle but that’s the only thing that’s short around here. At 6’1 I’ve always felt like I don’t fit in…. because let’s face it, I don’t!

Growing up I was always the weird awkward girl that never joined in with the girly things. My siblings and cousins were boys as I was growing up, so I just joined in with them. I liked cars and football, not makeup and hairstyles. Girls clothes didn’t even fit me, so why bother.

I’m 36 now and only just getting my head around eyeshadow. It’s been a colourful life, full of ups and downs. Some incredible highs, some absolutely glitter spangled highlights and some pretty awful lows. As a result, my body isn’t quite the slim, toned one I used to think was fat and disgusting. This one really is!

But do you know what? I am so proud of this body. It’s taken a long old time…36 years in fact, for me to be able to reach that conclusion. And it hasn’t come easy.

For me it’s taken meeting these 9 women. These Positively perfect specimens of female solidarity, love and support. Having them remind me each and every time I put myself down. Because I do, a lot. I guess it’s what us big girls do isn’t it? Get the joke in first. Pretend like if we make the joke then the other people won’t. And hey, it’s not like we haven’t heard them all before anyway.

These girls are helping me see that I am more than my size. Because I am far from the finished project. It’s one thing agreeing with the body positive sentiment but living it.. that’s hard. It’s hard to look at your naked wobbly belly and be ok with it, but I’m getting there.

I may not like how my body looks. But I love what it has done. It has produced two of the most amazing humans. It has survived domestic abuse, its beaten cancer. TWICE! It has swam in oceans, it has bungee jumped, it has ridden camels in the dessert, it has earned me the love of people I adore and most importantly….its still going!

It has managed to do all those things, and do you know what? I can’t remember what I was wearing during any of that! Because I’ve come to realise that life is judged on our experiences, not our wardrobe.

I’m always going to be tall. I am always going to be plus size. But I don’t always have to watch from the side-lines, because I don’t care what I look like anymore I just want to take part.

Because I’ve realised I don’t need to change, I’m already positively perfect.

Chelle
Survivor, Crusader & General Wonder Woman.