Hello all you lovely lot
My name is Tanyisha, I don’t have many nicknames and the few that I do have are just my name shortened.
I’m 35 going on 15 (or 50 depending on the mood I am in) and I am what the fashion world would consider plus size. Personally; I think I am just too unique and that the fashion world should stop using labels on people’s sizes, but hey! That’s is why I joined Positively Perfect. I want to help change this.
My past is one littered with being bullied because of my size, looks, and because I had the confidence of a wet towel.
It wasn’t that I was large, but because I was different. I didn’t want to fit in, nor did I feel the need to try. I felt people should be accepting of me. This idea never worked. But, it is one I still hold onto this day.
I was the large one out of the family and was always compared to my siblings. How thin, beautiful and handsome they were and why I couldn't I lose some weight? put on some make up? straighten my hair? be more girly? not do sports? go on a diet? The list goes on!
The only person I really had in my corner was my Dad. He told me to be me. When my parents split up, it was a lot harder for me to be me. So instead I took the me I wanted to be and locked it away and became a false version of me because no one was accepting me anymore.
The happiest day was when I had left home and went to University. I had an epiphany of waking up and looking in the mirror and realizing that it was time to stop being the false me. It was okay to be me. Forget trying to be what the media and world wanted, start being me. So, I let the old me out of the vault I had placed it in and since then haven’t looked back.
I will admit, I do look back at my old photos and say to myself that “Man, I look so skinny there” or “Wow, look how pretty I was”. In reality though, I have grown as a person who accepts myself. Yes, I am larger now, but I am happier. I also am a burlesque dancer. Which has helped me get a lot of the confidence I had lost over the years back. In no way am I fully 100% confident, but I am getting there slowly. My support group has grown, from my husband’s family, my lovely stepmother/mother, friends, the PP ladies, and even my co-workers. I know that I can turn to them if I need someone to talk too or cry on.
I also have stopped comparing myself as one thing I have noticed is that everyone wants something on their body to be bigger, smaller, rounder, firmer, flatter, plumper, darker, lighter, curlier, straight or another color. I could go on. In the end, I think we all need to not let the outside world influence us and for us to start accepting ourselves. Once we do that, then the fashion industry, media and even society will then realize that what they think we want and what we actually want are two different ideas. Hopefully, they'll realise that all shapes, sizes, colours, types are beautiful, unique, and perfect as they are.
Tanyisha
Founder Member, Model & Burlesque Beauty
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